But What if I Fail?

A question we ask ourselves over and over again is: "but what if I fail?". This damn question plagues our mind - creating doubt and fear, and holding us back. Yet we continue to ask ourselves this question. We keep letting it get in our way.

But what if I told you there's a way to move past this question, and ask yourself a new question?

What if I told you that you can still ask yourself "but what if I fail", and then you can ask yourself one more follow-up question, that will change your way of thinking and help you feel better moving forward?

It's as simple as asking yourself "but what if I fail?" - then following it up with, "no really, what will I do if I fail?".

Photo by  Alexandre Nilo  

Photo by Alexandre Nilo 

Yes, I'm telling you to literally ask yourself what you'll do if you DO fail.

Failure is all part of the process of growing and evolving.

You will fail. Sometimes. 

And other times, you won't.

Both ways are okay. 

Because "failure" means whatever you make it mean. 

Failure can either mean you give up, and tell yourself you were wrong to even try in the first place, and that you shouldn't try again.

Or failure can mean that you're one step closer to making it work. That you can change a few things, and try again. That failure means you're actually succeeding at getting closer to your goal.

So what does this have to do with asking yourself "no really, what will I do if I fail?".

Well, think about the worst case scenario that could happen for whatever the situation is that you're fearful about.

Sit down and write out the absolute worst case scenario for your situation.

Then come up with a plan.

How will you handle that worst case scenario? How will you move forward? How will you dust yourself off and try again (any Aaliyah fans? Click that link for a #MusicThrowback - you're welcome, hehe).

But really - actually coming up with a plan of how you will legitimately deal with the failure, allows you to ease your mind. 

It lets your brain relax a bit, because you've now made the unknown, known. 

You're not focused on the fear of "but what if I fail", you're instead thinking about how you'll handle it.

You brain is wired to WANT to solve problems. So if your brain works on solving the problem of what you'll actually do if you fail, then it feels better about the outcome itself.

You can re-wire your brain to be more calm about moving forward with your action, because it has comfort in knowing how you're going to manage your results.

And if you DON'T fail - then even better!

Because eventually, your brain gets comfortable with the new action, so it becomes less scary.

And then you can find something else to ask yourself "but what if I fail?" - and start the beautiful process all over again.

So ask yourself, "no really, what will I do if I fail?" - and get to work on problem solving.