Do I have your attention? Ha! What’s your reaction when you read that title; did you think “yes, that’s true”, or maybe “umm, what the hell did you just say”, or maybe “yeah, that’s what my husband says”? The fact of the matter is, many people still do believe that housework is women’s work.
And before we go blaming men for this being the case (although don’t get me wrong, they certainly help perpetuate the belief), I’d say it’s actually us – women – who are keeping this trend alive. Think about it – what’s the first thing we say if a friend stops in expectantly and our home is in a less than ideal state; “sorry about the mess… I haven’t had the time to clean yet… Sunday is usually my housework day”.
We feel so guilty when our house is in disarray – but when’s the last time your husband gave a shit about what the house looked like? He doesn’t. Maybe because he knows we’ll take care of everything if he leaves it long enough – but also maybe because he literally doesn’t care because in the grand scheme of things, it’s not the end of the world. But we think it is. As women, for some reason we feel like we’re somehow failing if our home isn’t spotless. We say sorry to our guests if one thing is out of place – but are we actually sorry?
I mean, sure, I love a clean house – but is it really realistic to keep our home clean all the damn time?! Not in my eyes – especially when you own two dogs and two cats! My husband or I will vacuum, then sure as shit, we turn around and somehow see a fluff ball tumbleweed roll by – HOW?!
So, I’m going to start the trend of honesty and just admit it right now: I’M NOT SORRY FOR MY MESSY HOUSE!
I’ve realized that the only reason I actually care about it is because I feel like people are judging me – but truly, if my friends are going to judge me for having some dog hair on the floor (… and the couches, and the coffee table… and pretty much everywhere else), then they’re not really the type of people that will likely stick around in my life anyway, haha! Seriously though, real friends don’t give a shit if your house isn’t sparkling clean – they’re going to love you anyway.
So today, I declare that I’m not sorry for choosing to do better things with my time than keeping my home spotless all the time. And you don’t have to be sorry about it either. It’s not our job, as women, to keep the house clean; it’s a communal effort. Let’s just let housework be EVERYONE’S work – whoever is willing to bust out the vacuum, or dust the coffee table, or fill up the dishwasher – and not put it all on our own shoulders.
Maybe one day we’ll be lucky enough to afford Molly Maid to come clean for us. But until then, I’ll just refrain from wearing black if I’ll be sitting on the couch, and I’ll keep a lint roller by every exit in our home.