Food Shaming


SHAME! I want to address something that I had an epiphany about earlier this year. The shame that people (including myself) place around food. I was watching a video and the woman was talking about our relationships with food - and she asked us to consider the feelings we have around food. That is when it hit me like a truck - SHAME and GUILT were the two main feelings I had associated with food for as long as I can remember. 

And I'm not the only one - there were muffins in the kitchen at my office, and three separate people walked in and made a comment about how they wanted one, but they shouldn't have one because they're watching their weight... that right there, ladies and gentlemen, is SHAME in disguise. Your mind is shaming you for wanting something you know isn't the healthiest of choices. But in moderation, there's no reason why you can't have a damn muffin every once in a while!

Through becoming more self-aware, and acknowledging my struggle with weight and body image, I noticed whenever I ate something, I subconsciously judged myself. When I wanted to treat myself, I typically had the urge to sneak it or hide the evidence, so people didn't judge me - but what I realized is that I was the one judging myself - and feeling shameful! I told myself I "shouldn't" be eating that, or that I didn't "earn" it... umm, last time I checked, I'm not a dog - I don't do tricks for food, so why do I feel like I need to earn a treat - or that I'm not ALLOWED to have something? Why did I associate shame and guilt with food? 

That's what I set out to uncover! Since I had that revelation, I wanted to learn what was behind these thoughts and these feelings, so I could educate myself, set my mind straight, and improve my relationship with food. 

Considering the fact that I eat healthy about 70% of the time, I should have been congratulating myself - but instead, my mind focused on the bad - a very common human tendency. Picking yourself apart, and putting yourself down seems to be the instincts we feel - and that is because it's been our inner dialog for a really long time...

BUT that doesn't mean we can't change it. And I work on that every single day. We need to be our own biggest cheerleader - because if you don't love yourself, how can you give your best self to those you love? When you're a happier, healthier person - mind, body, and soul - you make your own life better, and also the lives of those around you. And everyone deserves to be happy. Yes, even you!


Housework is Women’s Work


Do I have your attention? Ha! What’s your reaction when you read that title; did you think “yes, that’s true”, or maybe “umm, what the hell did you just say”, or maybe “yeah, that’s what my husband says”? The fact of the matter is, many people still do believe that housework is women’s work.

And before we go blaming men for this being the case (although don’t get me wrong, they certainly help perpetuate the belief), I’d say it’s actually us – women – who are keeping this trend alive. Think about it – what’s the first thing we say if a friend stops in expectantly and our home is in a less than ideal state; “sorry about the mess… I haven’t had the time to clean yet… Sunday is usually my housework day”.

We feel so guilty when our house is in disarray – but when’s the last time your husband gave a shit about what the house looked like? He doesn’t. Maybe because he knows we’ll take care of everything if he leaves it long enough – but also maybe because he literally doesn’t care because in the grand scheme of things, it’s not the end of the world. But we think it is. As women, for some reason we feel like we’re somehow failing if our home isn’t spotless. We say sorry to our guests if one thing is out of place – but are we actually sorry?

I mean, sure, I love a clean house – but is it really realistic to keep our home clean all the damn time?! Not in my eyes – especially when you own two dogs and two cats! My husband or I will vacuum, then sure as shit, we turn around and somehow see a fluff ball tumbleweed roll by – HOW?!

So, I’m going to start the trend of honesty and just admit it right now: I’M NOT SORRY FOR MY MESSY HOUSE!

I’ve realized that the only reason I actually care about it is because I feel like people are judging me – but truly, if my friends are going to judge me for having some dog hair on the floor (… and the couches, and the coffee table… and pretty much everywhere else), then they’re not really the type of people that will likely stick around in my life anyway, haha! Seriously though, real friends don’t give a shit if your house isn’t sparkling clean – they’re going to love you anyway.

So today, I declare that I’m not sorry for choosing to do better things with my time than keeping my home spotless all the time. And you don’t have to be sorry about it either. It’s not our job, as women, to keep the house clean; it’s a communal effort. Let’s just let housework be EVERYONE’S work – whoever is willing to bust out the vacuum, or dust the coffee table, or fill up the dishwasher – and not put it all on our own shoulders.

Maybe one day we’ll be lucky enough to afford Molly Maid to come clean for us. But until then, I’ll just refrain from wearing black if I’ll be sitting on the couch, and I’ll keep a lint roller by every exit in our home.