Self care

How Having Boundaries Actually Gives You Freedom

As a business owner (and a human being in general), it's so crucial to honour your boundaries.

Boundaries with yourself.

Boundaries with family and friends.

Boundaries with clients.

I'm sure you catch my drift - honour your boundaries with everyone.

Because implementing your boundaries is actually quite freeing.

Alright, you hear me - but what the hell does that even mean?

So glad you asked!

Photo by  on  Unsplash

Photo by on Unsplash

Let's start with boundaries for yourself.

As much as we don't like to admit it, we all have our limits.

We can only accomplish so much in one day.

And while the saying is true; "we all have the same 24 hours in a day"; we don't all want to spend it the exact same way.

You may love doing certain things that I can't stand doing.

And I may suggest something to you that makes you cringe.

That's the beauty of being the boss.

You get to only do those things that you WANT to do.

Now you might be thinking, "but I do all kinds of shit in my business that I don't want to do".

But that's not true. 

Because at some point, you've decided that you actually DO want to do that task.

Whether it's to save money by not having to outsource it (sidenote: I encourage you to really consider if you actually ARE saving money, in the long run, by doing this).

Or whether it's a task you don't like, but you know it will help build your business, so you do it anyway; therefore you are actually choosing that you DO want to do it, because you want business growth.

See what I mean?

It's all how you look at it.

So when I say it's necessary to honour the boundaries you set for yourself, I mean you need to consider what you actually want to do.

And what you DON'T want to do.

We all have our limits.

For everything on that list of things you don't want to do, simply don't do them.

Outsource it to someone who is an expert in that industry.

Someone who actually does like doing those tasks.

Pick and choose which business basics need to get done for your business.

And that means whatever feels right for YOU.

Because building your business in a way that aligns with your values will help you love your career even more.

You don't have to do everything just because it happens to be the hottest trend.

Essentially, say no to things that don't serve you.

Which brings us to our next set of boundaries; boundaries with family and friends.

When you're a business owner, for some reason there's always friends or family who expect to get your services for free, or at a discounted rate.

Understand that you are not obligated to give anyone anything for free.

If you choose to gift them your services, great.

But you don't owe anyone anything.

No matter how long you've known them.

And choosing to not give free or discounted services to your family and friends does not make you a bad person.

It actually makes you a good business owner.

You don't discount the VALUE of the service they receive, so you don't need to discount your prices either.

The guilt to give in to their requests is stemming from past people-pleasing ways.

But remember, you run a business.

And you don't have to let guilt make business decisions for you.

In fact, the family and friends who truly support you will be more than happy to invest in you at the full rate.

It's called mutual respect.

And finally, honouring your boundaries with clients.

This one is especially important if you're feeling frustrated that you always seem to be working.

You let your clients take advantage of you by being available to them at all hours of the day (and night).

You worry that if a question goes unanswered, then they'll take their business somewhere else.

And so what if they do?

Do you really want to be working with someone who doesn't respect that you have a life outside of work?

That may sound harsh - but actually think about it.

You didn't become an entrepreneur to be at the beck and call of your clients.

If you wanted to let someone else run your schedule, you could have stayed in corporate.

And don't get me wrong.

I appreciate that you have to put in some overtime for yourself when you're getting your business off the ground.

But that doesn't mean you need to change your schedule to make it more convenient for your client.

If they want to work with you, they'll make it happen.

Just like you make it work when YOU want to work with someone.

Treat your home-based business just like any other business - with actual business hours.

I'm typically in my office from Monday to Friday, 9am - 5pm.

Now you might be thinking - but that's the same hours as a corporate job.

You're right - but the difference is that I get to CHOOSE those hours, I'm not being told by someone else that I HAVE to be at work from 9am - 5pm.

HUGE difference.

And I don't make exceptions to this rule unless there's an event of some sort that I want to facilitate, or attend, or unless I'm in a session with my own mentor.

Or unless a friend wants to have lunch - the perks of having your own business, hehe.

I make myself available for coaching sessions with my clients during the afternoon, usually Tuesdays and Thursdays from 12pm - 3pm.

This allows for it to be convenient for them, if they still happen to be working a full time job while they build their side hustle.

And it also honours my own boundaries of only being in my office from 9 to 5.

Keep in mind, these hours can change, as you find different timing that works better for you.

Don't be afraid to set hours that work for YOU.

A healthy work / life balance is what helps keep you loving what you do.

And your ideal customers will appreciate that about you.

At the end of the day, you have to take care of number one.

Which in case you need a reminder, is YOU.

When you honour yourself, it encourages those around you to honour your boundaries too.

And if they don't?

Well, that's their own baggage that has nothing to do with you.

Building your business has to feel right for YOU.

And that includes honouring your boundaries.

Without feeling guilty for taking care of yourself.

You deserve the freedom you've worked so hard to achieve.



The Importance of Collaboration: 3 Reasons You Should Collaborate

Last Friday, I was featured with Heather Hartman Coaching on her 'Real, Raw & Uncut AF - Live Spotlight Series'. I was so excited to be highlighted as her VERY FIRST EPISODE, as we discussed the importance of self care as a female entrepreneur.

It was an honour to be asked by Heather to be on her show (which also included having this nifty graphic shared all around Facebook) - because Heather is someone I truly admire and who also encourages women to step into what they're capable of.

While working with Heather in preparation of this episode, we naturally chatted about the importance of collaboration with other like-minded women.

Running your business - especially if it's mostly done online - can sometimes feel isolating.

When you're first starting out, it's typically just you in your office - by yourself, without a team.

And while having the freedom and flexibility to be your own boss is one of the main blessings I'm so grateful for - it can also mean that sometimes you feel lonely, without being surrounded by co-workers, like you're used to in the corporate world.

(But don't get me wrong - I still wouldn't go back to corporate, haha.)

With that being top of mind this week, I've compiled a short list of the top three reasons to collaborate with other women:


1. You may be surprised by what you can learn from seeing the way other women manage their business.

Checking out how someone else runs their business can be an awesome learning experience.

You can very easily learn a new trick to get better organized, to reach your target audience more effectively, or even to approach self-care more regularly.

Talking with other fempreneurs about what's working for them is a perfect opportunity to test out, and potentially adopt, some new behaviours in your own business to become more efficient.


2. Encouraging and supporting other women feels amazing!

If you're having a shitty day and feeling down on yourself, one of the best ways to pull yourself out of that funk is to love on some other ladies that you admire.

Comment on how they rocked their Facebook Live, or how delicious their breakfast looked in that photo on Instagram, or how fab their DIY board is coming along on Pinterest.

Spread love to others, and before you know it, you'll be in a much better mood - and can be proud of yourself for supporting your sisterhood.


3. It makes you feel like you actually have a support system in place.

I'm not gonna lie - my husband isn't the first one I turn to when I have questions about my business.

And it's not because I don't trust his opinion, it's because he's not currently growing a business, so why would I ask his expertise in that department? 

When I have questions, or want to bounce ideas off people, I turn to the women who are also building businesses, just like me - because they GET IT.

They understand the struggles and challenges, and they can offer advice that is relevant, because they've been there.

And I offer my experiences too, when asked - because it's great to have the opportunity to contribute back to those women helping me.

Speaking of which, check out Episode One of Real, Raw & Uncut AF by clicking the below image:

Click here  to be taken to the replay of our  Real, Raw & Uncut AF episode

Click here to be taken to the replay of our Real, Raw & Uncut AF episode

Check out Heather's other featured ladies weekly, on her Heather Hartman Coaching Facebook page.

Also, watch for my own weekly feature coming your way - a tribute to Badass Boss Babes who are stepping up and letting their light shine!

If you are looking to shine your own light, click here to enroll in our March online group coaching program, Break Through the Bullshit, where we tame that inner critic BS mindset, and release your fearless fempreneur instead!

Or if you want to learn more about one-on-one coaching opportunities with me, jump on a free call!


The 10 Commandments of Loving Yourself

I'm currently running a free 5 day challenge within a private group on Facebook called I Don't Need a Man (or Woman), and we have some AMAZING ladies in there (shout out to all my badass babes - get it, girl). And yes, if you want to get in on the action, there's still time!

We are loving on ourselves and learning new ways to implement self care, self awareness and overall confidence in who we are.

To help inspire even more of these positive vibes and important daily practices, I introduce to you, the 10 commandments of loving yourself.

Because let's face it - we can ALL love on ourselves more than we do.

As women, we tend to put others first and let our maternal instincts kick in (whether we're actually moms or not), by taking care of everyone around us.

But who takes care of us?


(Yep, we really do it all, don't we?!)

So read through this list of 10 commandments and make note of which ones resonate with you, so you can either implement more of it in your life - or maybe even start incorporating it, if you haven't yet, and you know you can benefit from it.

*Spoiler alert - we can all benefit from more of each of these.*

Photo by  hannah grace

Photo by hannah grace

The 10 Commandments of Loving Yourself

  1. I shall lovingly accept myself as I am right now.
  2. I shall appreciate all the beauty that makes me who I am.
  3. I shall regularly give thanks for all the blessings I have in my life.
  4. I shall trust in my ability to take care of myself.
  5. I shall not criticize myself.
  6. I shall not criticize others.
  7. I shall forgive myself when I make a mistake.
  8. I shall be kind to others, without sacrificing my own needs.
  9. I shall take responsibility for my life.
  10. I shall love myself to the best of my ability.

Shit... pretty deep stuff.

Honestly, I will be practicing all of these commandments because they are all equally important to me.

How about you?

Which of these commandments will make their way into your daily practices?



50 Ways to Practice Self Love

So, I looked up synonyms for “self-love” on

Here’s what it said:

  • Conceit
  • Narcissism
  • Vainglory
  • Vanity

Ummm... What?!

No fucking wonder people think self-love is selfish.

Is that really the only synonyms they could come up with?

How about:

  • Happiness
  • Freedom
  • Worthiness
  • Authenticity

These are the kinds of words I think of when I hear self-love.

But all too often I hear my clients say they feel GUILTY for practicing self-care.

Self-care is one of the BEST forms of self-love.

Yet here we are, thinking that it’s vain to take care of ourselves.

That’s complete bullshit.

Photo by  Tim Mossholder

After recently realizing I wasn’t practicing enough self-care for myself either, I set out on a mission to learn more about what other women are doing to invest in themselves for self-care.

Here’s the list I compiled from all their amazing recommendations:

  1. Meditation
  2. Unplug / tech-free time
  3. Sleep / napping
  4. Bubble bath (add essential oils to kick it up a notch)
  5. Reading
  6. Journaling
  7. Good nutrition
  8. Drinking water
  9. Taking time off
  10. Vacations / travelling
  11. Drinking tea
  12. Healing crystals
  13. Listening to podcasts / audio books / music
  14. Saying no to things that don’t serve you
  15. Daily movement / going to the gym / running
  16. Walking in nature
  17. Reflecting on your day and what you’re grateful for
  18. Going to the spa / getting a massage / reflexology / acupuncture / reiki
  19. Drinking a glass of wine
  20. Date night with yourself
  21. Watch TV / movies / Netflix
  22. Have a good laugh
  23. Have a good cry
  24. Using essential oils
  25. Meal prep healthy options for the week
  26. Breathing exercises
  27. Connect through women’s groups
  28. Lighting scented candles
  29. Visualizations
  30. Skin care / moisturizing
  31. Be barefoot in nature
  32. Have an orgasm
  33. Getting a manicure / pedicure
  34. Downsizing / decluttering / organizing
  35. Tapping
  36. Set boundaries
  37. Guilt-free down time
  38. Forget the negative, and choose to focus on the positive
  39. Schedule your day / week to feel less overwhelmed
  40. Positive affirmations / create a vision board
  41. Dance
  42. Create a sacred meditation space
  43. Write a love letter to yourself
  44. Morning stretching
  45. Prayer
  46. Dressing well – even if you work from home
  47. Set “office hours” – and stick to them
  48. Swim / hot tub / sauna
  49. Pay attention to your body and practice self awareness
  50. Start your day with 5 minutes of quiet

I challenge you to choose at least one thing from this list each week to help you get more self-care in your life.

Maybe you can even choose one thing each DAY to step it up even more!

Because the more self-care you bring to your own life; is the more self-love you get to experience.

As a society, we need to stop promoting the idea that self-love is narcissistic.

Because true self-love is a beautiful thing.

And there’s certainly ways to express it without being conceited.

So this is your permission to start incorporating more self-care and more self-love into your day.

Not that you need permission.

But typically, we’re more likely to do something when we get permission from someone else.

So there it is.

No more excuses.

We’re going to begin adding more self-love into our day.

And we’re going to love every minute of it.

Guilt free.

Because we’re amazing.